


Even More Boxes

by Ashkaztra



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Anal Sex, IKEA Furniture, John Sheppard's bed is ridiculous, M/M, Porn Battle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-25
Updated: 2015-02-25
Packaged: 2018-03-15 06:13:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3436520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashkaztra/pseuds/Ashkaztra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Wraith is a very handy thing to have at hand sometimes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Even More Boxes

**Author's Note:**

> Porn Battle VII - John/Todd, banter, flirt, laugh, hunger, lick, candy, wall, Earth, trust
> 
> For the Golden Oldies round. 
> 
> I've been to IKEA a lot lately. I get distracted in IKEA a lot. Then this happens. Yes, this is another "get rid of John's bed" fic.

"That is a lot of boxes," Todd said, head tilted in that "humans are all crazy" way he often used when talking to John. 

He had a point, John supposed. It was a lot of boxes. Eight of them, more specifically, and two rolled up mattresses. He'd piled them on one of the wheeled carts they used for moving heavy duty equipment around Atlantis, but they were still hardly easy to manage, especially since some of them were extremely unwieldy. 

"I don't recall inviting you to come along," John replied, though he didn't really mean it. He was actually pretty happy about Todd's presence. The boxes were heavy and unwieldy, and Todd was very strong. It was an useful combo. 

The Wraith simply made an amused sound, but kept walking at John's side, keeping an eye on the cart of boxes. "I believe some of these boxes are longer than I am tall," he mused.

Most of them were, really, and of the three that weren't, two came fairly close still. 

"I might have overdone it a little," John admitted, chuckling. "I was only going to order one thing, but I got a bit carried away with the thought of having furniture that is actually younger than you are."

They were slowly replacing more and more of the original furniture of Atlantis, but most of it was still Ancient-made and left there since before the city had been abandoned. The lure of new furniture had been a bit too tempting. Thus the boxes. 

Todd made another amused sound, craning his neck a little to read the sideways text on the box. It didn't seem to tell him much, but that was to be expected. Whatever it was that translated things didn't work nearly as efficiently on writing, and besides, the names on the boxes were pretty much gibberish to John as well. 

"I know," John chuckled. "Dr. Lindberg in engineering swears their names make sense in Swedish, but I have no idea. I just got lost in the furniture store and came out with my favourites." 

Wraith sounded strange when they laughed, the reverbing quality of their voices making the simple act of laughing sound almost menacing. It wasn't meant to be menacing, though, at least not this time. If Todd wanted to be menacing, they'd have known. It still sounded creepy enough to badly startle some of the people they passed, but that was mostly hilarious.

Hilarious and a little concerning. If a relatively friendly and relaxed Wraith scared them that bad, an actually hostile one would probably make them flail in panic. John took a note to run a few Wraith drills. He should ask Todd if he could borrow some of his crew. A Wraith drill with real Wraith would be far more efficient. He suspected that if Todd's Hive were anything like their Commander, they'd get a real kick out of it, too.

"Once again, Sheppard," Todd mused, drawing out the name like he always did, "You act before you think. Impulsiveness will only get you so far before you require an actual plan."

"Hey! I had a plan!" John protested, though it was fairly half-hearted. "Just ... Not quite this much of a plan. In my defence, IKEA makes no sense. I think you have to be Swedish to understand it. Or something."

Besides, it was all a set, and it'd be nice to have furniture that matched to replace his old and relatively mismatched furniture with. Something that looked slightly more coherent, and in wood rather than chiselled metal. Much as John loved Atlantis, the stark metal angles could be a little too much sometimes. It'd be nice with a little bit of a different material to balance it out. The furniture set he had picked out is all solid pine, nothing fancy, but varnished a dark brown to give it a warmer appearance than his old brushed steel furniture.

The look Todd gave him told him he was entirely unimpressed with his excuse.

Scoffing, John glared at Todd as best he could, well aware that he didn't look all that imposing pushing a cart of giant boxes. "I'd like to see you try to figure out an IKEA. It'd be like that cat herding ad they did, except a lot less adorable." Honestly, Wraith were pretty cat-like in a lot of ways, not just the eyes.

For a moment, he wondered if there was such a thing as Wraith-nip. That'd be hilarious.

He grinned up at Todd. "I know what your sense of direction is like, anyway." The comment was slightly unfair; Todd had been half dead of starvation and exhaustion when he'd gotten them lost after their escape from Kolya's dungeon.

It didn't seem to matter much, anyway. Todd simply gave that amused little grin he saved for such occasions, showing off rows of teeth that could make a shark green with envy. It was a grin that said John had to up his game if he wanted to impress him.

Much as he hated backing down from a challenge, impressing a ten thousand year old space vampire was hard. 

"Haven't you got important Wraith things to do?" He asked instead, pushing one of the boxes back onto the cart before it could fall on the floor. The last thing he needed was a box avalanche. 

"Nothing that cannot wait," Todd told him, giving a deliberate shrug, a gesture he was definitely imitating rather than one that came naturally to him. His human mimicry was very elaborate. Sometimes, it was almost possible to forget what he was entirely, at least until he did something completely alien and reminded them all. Usually, that was as deliberate as his mimicry was. 

Shaking his head, John stopped walking and leaned on the cart handle, giving Todd a mock-scowl. "Well, if you're so bored you feel the need to watch me ferry boxes, you might as well give me a hand assembling this stuff," he told him. Another pair of hands would be handy. A pair of hands capable of lifting several times the weight John could would be even more handy. 

When Todd appeared to be considering it, John gave him a conspiratory grin. "I have more of that weird candy you liked so much."

Admittedly, that was less because he had been thinking about Todd and more because nobody else wanted to go anywhere near that stuff. Ammonium chloride had no business being in candy, ever, but apparently nobody had told the Scandinavians that, and it had somehow gotten to Todd. 

Another thing he was pretty sure he could blame on Dr. Lindberg in engineering, or perhaps Dr. Eriksen in the computer lab. Or any of their Scandinavians, because they were a special breed. 

John still hadn't quite recovered from the caramelized cheese. 

"I might as well," Todd agreed. "It does sound marginally more interesting than staring at a wall somewhere." 

"Good to hear I rate above a wall," John said, pushing the cart into moving again. "Really."

They weren't too far from his rooms by then, and it didn't take much longer to get there. It would have gone faster if maneuvering the cart through the transporters wasn't so awkward, or if Atlantis didn't tend to object to Wraith in the transporters and had to be persuaded to let them pass, but it could have been much worse.

He could have had to carry the damn boxes. 

Well inside, John stepped back and just stared at the cardboard pyramid of mismatched brown boxes. He frowned. 

"I guess we should start with an easy one and work our way up?" He suggested. 

"That will probably work," Todd agreed, easily shifting the boxes as though they weighed nothing. 

Muttering something about show-offs under his breath, John began the process of sorting the boxes by product. 

As it turned out, Todd's weird alien brain apparently meant he had a spatial awareness that was honestly a little uncanny. Combined with the fact that he had been a scientist once, it meant that he had a preternatural ability to assemble IKEA furniture without turning the instruction manual over seventeen times and going cross-eyed trying to figure it out. 

Honestly, John was happy to just assist and let Todd take the lead on that. It meant much less of an headache for him. All he had to do was hold where he was told and hand over whatever tools they required. 

A couple of hours of that and John had a new wardrobe, a chest of drawers and a nightstand. All that was left was the bed, which was what he'd gone to buy in the first place, and they'd left that because it was the biggest project. It couldn't possibly be worse than the chest of drawers, though. That one had taxed even Todd's patience, which was no easy feat. 

"Do you want to take a break?" John asked, leaning back against the new wardrobe. Sitting on the floor for extended periods of time wasn't good for his back. 

Stretching with remarkable grace, Todd gave a little hiss, though it was hard to say if it was from aching or just a Wraith noise. Though most Wraith weren't necessarily very verbal, they were vocal enough. 

"I believe we should finish up before we take a break," he said, getting to his feet in a single smooth movement. He'd discarded his coat and boots by the door, presumably so he wouldn't get tangled up in the coat. "We will have to move your current bed first, though, in order to make room."

Groaning more from the stiffness in his body than anything else, John got to his feet as well. "Might as well get it over with, I guess?"

They pushed the old bed over to the wall and John threw a comforter over it. He could use it as a daybed or something, he supposed. 

The bed was actually not that hard to assemble, just unwieldy. It was a king size frame, which was wider than John was tall, and longer than Todd was, and it didn't make for easy handling, but it was nowhere as heavy as the more compact furniture. Wrangling it in place and putting in the bottom went fast, and unrolling the mattresses and putting them in was mostly an exercise in wobbling. 

Once it was all in place, though, the bed set up and made, with all the bedding and pillows in place, it looked really nice. He'd gone for the darker of the two options, a dark brown-black finish, and the bed looked solid and sturdy while still managing to look inviting, none of which his tiny little mattress bed had ever managed. 

More importantly, it was huge in comparison to what he was used to. 

Flopping gracelessly down on the bed, John rolled himself over so he was lying across the bed and stretched happily. Still longer than he was tall. It seemed an amazing luxury after all that time in a tiny bed. He'd deal with the boxes and leftover cardboard bits later. 

"You look pleased," Todd mused from somewhere above him. 

John looked up at him and chuckled. "I have space. Surely you can see why I'd be happy."

"Indeed," Todd agreed readily, pushing some of his hair out of the way. He'd tried tying it back but it was rapidly escaping from confinement. 

"Come down here," John told him, rolling onto his back so he could look at the Wraith without craning his neck. 

Making an amused sound, Todd did just that, sitting down on the bed next to John. "It is an improvement," he agreed after a moment. "Maybe you will no longer fall out of bed?"

"That was once," John pointed out, shaking his head as best he could while lying down. "And it was only because there was barely room enough for me on that old bed. It was never meant for two."

"This seems to be, however," Todd said, voice thoughtful.

Before John could reply, Todd moved, quick as a snake. He shifted his position and used the momentum to pin John to the bed by the wrists. 

Momentarily stunned, John looked up into Todd's yellow eyes, shivering at the hunger they reflected. Wraith were always hungry, that gnawing feeling always there in the back of their minds. 

Not all of their hunger was lethal, though. Just intense. 

"I'd be lying if I said that wasn't part of my reasoning when I bought it," he said, voice soft. 

Todd made a pleased rumbling sound in the back of his throat. "How thoughtful," he mused, thumb rubbing circles on John's right wrist.

Shifting a little, mostly in anticipation, John grinned up at him. "I know how much you Wraith like your treats," he said, and then waggled his eyebrows playfully. 

Chuckling in amusement, Todd leaned in a little closer. "Does that make you a treat?" He rasped, running the tip of his tongue along his lip.

"Well, you certainly seem to think I'm a chew toy," John pointed out. 

Rumbling in amusement again, Todd moved in further, licking a wet path up John's neck, nipping almost gently at the skin. Almost. 

Wiggling his left hand free, John tangled his fingers into Todd's hair and pulled his head up a little, pushing their lips together in a hard kiss. 

Kissing Todd was a risky business at any time, but the angle made it even harder, but John didn't really care that he nicked his lip on Todd's teeth. It was hardly the first time that had ever happened. 

The kiss was eager and warm, and Todd tasted lightly of the liquorice and pepper candies he'd been eating earlier. It was nice; nice enough that it was almost enough for him. Just the weight of Todd against him, pressing him into the mattress and kissing him like he wanted to devour him from the inside. 

Pulling away, Todd sat up and peeled his clothing off, letting John do the same. Sex worked a lot better without clothes on. Besides, John loved watching Todd undress, watching him reveal all of that pale green skin and the strange tattoos spread around on his body. He could trace those with his fingers and his tongue for a very long time if given half a chance, but that wasn't what he wanted at the moment.

Once they were naked, John gave Todd a cocky grin and pushed him lightly back against the headboard so he could lie between his legs, lavishing attention on Todd's cock. He loved giving blowjobs as it was, but he especially loved giving Todd blowjobs, because the Wraith was so vocally appreciative of them, purring his satisfaction loudly, fingers tangled into John's hair as his head bobbed up and down. 

There had been times he had been happy to just get his lover off like that, stroking himself to completion while sucking and licking Todd's cock, but he had plans. There was something he'd wanted to do for a long time, but they hadn't really had the room to try it. 

With all the space they had now, it'd be a shame to waste the opportunity. 

He'd kept the bottle of lube close just in preparation for that. Uncorking it somewhat awkwardly, his other hand busy with Todd's cock, he coated his fingers generously and began working himself open as he swirled his tongue around Todd's shaft, loving the feel of his cock in his mouth. 

All the while, Todd was playing with his hair, stroking it affectionately, a deep purr resonating from deep within his chest. 

Once he was sure he was as prepared as he could get, he sat up, pulling away from Todd's cock with a wet pop. 

"You look determined," Todd purred, running his hand down John's face as he let go of his hair. 

"I have plans," John agreed, and crawled on top of Todd, kneeling astride him. "I am going to ride you like a wild stallion." He grinned and reached behind himself, stroking Todd's cock. 

Returning the grin, Todd shifted slightly to accommodate him better. "By all means," he said, and there was definitely a challenge in that. 

His grin still in place, John lifted himself up a little, positioning Todd's cock before lowering himself slowly onto it, gasping a little as it stretched him open. He loved that feeling. The ridges felt so good amazing inside him, dragging slowly across his prostate. 

Once he was seated fully, he met Todd's eyes and slowly licked his lips, a deliberate taunt. "Try not to shred my bedding this time," he said, and moved, setting a steady pace. 

It felt so good to move like that, fucking himself on Todd's cock. He loved it when Todd set the pace, but it was a nice treat to feel a bit more in charge for once, moving to his own rhythm. It let him slow down or speed up as he wished, drawing it out longer than he normally lasted. Todd's cock was pretty much perfect inside him at that angle, too, pleasure building steadily throughout his body.

Smiling, a far cry from his earlier grins, he reached down and picked up Todd's hand, lacing their fingers together for a while, holding onto the hand as he rocked against him. After a while, he lifted the hand to his mouth, covering it in butterfly kisses before turning it over, doing the same on the palm. 

As he scattered kisses over the feeding slit, he looked up and met Todd's eyes, which seemed to glow with pleasure. 

John gave a little hum of pleasure and opened his mouth, licking the feeding slit with practised flicks of his tongue, pausing occasionally to dip his tongue into the feeding organ proper. He was careful to avoid the sharp point, well aware of what to expect after all the practice he'd gotten. 

Beneath him, Todd gave a rumbling sound that turned into a hiss and bucked up into John, driving into him harder. 

Moaning, John picked up the pace, letting his eyes fall shut as he rode Todd's cock, chasing the sensations it sent throughout him, licking and biting at the feeding organ as he did. He wasn't going to last long, but he intended to enjoy himself to the last minute. 

Todd's other hand came to rest on John's hip, digging slightly into the skin, but not hard enough to break skin and draw blood. The grasp only made John move faster, breathing hard into Todd's hand.

When he came, John bit down on the fleshy part of the hand to keep from making too much noise. His cock jerked, spilling onto both their stomachs. He let go of Todd's hand and slumped forwards, pressing his face against Todd's neck, the soft touch of Todd's hair on his skin almost soothing. 

Moving against him a little while longer, it didn't take Todd too much more to reach his own climax, and he lifted his arm to wrap it around John and hold him close. The Wraith was ridiculously tactile and right then, John loved it. He felt far safer in Todd's arms than he had any right to. 

"Good enough reward for the assistance?" John murmured, not feeling up to moving just yet.

"I do believe it was, yes," Todd agreed readily, sounding equally unwilling to move. 

John smiled against his neck. "Good," he said. "Because I'm waiting for even more boxes."

**Author's Note:**

> The candies Todd is eating are [Tyrkisk Peber](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tyrkisk_Peber) which are mainly flavoured by pepper and ammonium chloride. Since Wraith eat for pleasure, not for nutrition, I imagine they'd be into things with a lot of flavour over most other stuff. After writing this, I had to go buy a bag :P
> 
> John's new furniture is the [Hemnes bedroom series](http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/categories/series/11731/).


End file.
